I always loved these commercials... here are some of my favorites...

"He'll never be convicted of a crime because they'll never find a jury of his peers."
"If he were to pat you on the back, you would list it on your resume."
"He’s won trophies for his game face alone."
"He speeks fluent French, in Russian."
"He once visited a Psychic…to warn her."
"He once donated blood he squeezed from a turnip."
"Sasquatch has a cast of his footprint in his cave."
"He plans to donate his body to science. Or possibly to the arts."
"He once fought Chuck Norris and won."
"If he made mistakes they would be perfect."
"The grass is always greener on his side."
"He is the only man on record to have ever stolen first base."
"In the “running of the bulls”, he chases the bulls rather than them chasing him…"
"He knows Victoria's Secret."
"Even his mistakes are proven to be right."
"When speaking before a large crowd, the the audience pictures him in his underwear, in order to feel lees nervous."
"He uses a lid on his coffee so hobos won't give him money."
"He's never been a beginner… at anything."

You got any?